


Forgive Me

by Justsomedreaming



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood and Injury, F/M, Family Loss, Fluff, Language, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:53:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,791
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24989374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justsomedreaming/pseuds/Justsomedreaming
Summary: You and Cas got into a fight, causing Gabriel to step in. Somehow he accidentally did some trick which causes you some serious trouble.
Relationships: Castiel (Supernatural)/You, Gabriel (Supernatural) & You
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	1. Switched

**Author's Note:**

> This idea got stuck in my head for some days. I hope you guys like it.

“You let my brother die! Go to hell Cas!” You yell and slam the bunkers door shut. Turning around, you find yourself face to face to him. “Leave me alone,” you say. “(Y/N), please. Let me explain. I wanted to-” “Why didn't you?” Your anger is bubbling. Castiel's blue eyes fix on you, he looks sad. His head hangs low, giving you his usual puppy eyes and if you weren't angry like that, you would´ve hugged him, told him that you love him. 

"I don't know!" his angered voice, yelling at you let's you startle. "I wish I could've helped him. I don't want to argue with you."

You see his grief because of your pain, because you lost your little brother, you feel that he really wanted to help. 

But then you remember your brothers body in your arms, bloodied and dying, and Cas just looking at him, not doing anything.

“You are a fucking angel Castiel. I believed in you to help my brother! You. Let. Him. Die.” With every word you say, your fist slams into his face. He doesn't even try to defend himself, Sam and Dean are not home yet, so no one could hold you back from hurting him. He stands up, waiting for your next attack. 

In the very moment you lift your fist again to punch him, your wrist gets caught. You turn around and stare into golden eyes. 

"Enough, (Y/N)!" Gabriel says, letting go of your wrist and helping his brother get up to his feet again. Cas doesn't even heal himself right now. Gabriel nods at Castiel and Cas straightens his back. Stepping closer to you, Gabriel pulls you into a hug. Castiel clearly is the one angel your heart belongs to, but Gabriel is your favorite angel, your best friend. 

"He said that he couldn't heal your brother. I am very sorry, but that is the truth. Castiel didn't have enough strength to heal him, you know that." You nod, sobbing heavily. 

"But what do I do without my little brother now? Cas didn't even try to-" You ask with a crooked voice. "I knew that I couldn't do anything (Y/N). It just would have left him feel more pain." 

"Just go away Cas," you whisper, leaning against Gabriel's chest. He grabs your shoulders and looks into your eyes. "No, he stays and you will apologize to him, okay? It wasn't his fault. It was no one's fault. We all know, when Death leads you to the other side, not even an angel can heal you without trouble."

You sigh, grabbing Castiel's hand, he's offering you to apologize too. When your hands connect, Gabriel lays his hand on top of them and says something in enochian that you don´t understand. Your hands glow for a few seconds and then he disappears. 

You are confused but somehow the urge to punch Castiel is gone. Slightly dizzy, your legs are shaking.

"Are you alright, (Y/N)?" Cas asks you and grabs your arms, his face still bruised and bloody from your punches. You lift your hand, carefully brushing over his bruises with your fingers. "I am so sorry Cas, I didn't mean to hurt you," you whisper and your eyes widen as you see his face healing under your touch.

He stares at you, his blue eyes wide open and shocked. Suddenly you feel a bursting pain in your head. Your hands pressed against your temples, you sink down on your knees. 

"Argh, Castiel! What is this?" You huff in pain. Crouching down in front of you, he wraps his arms around you, trying to comfort you. "That is what Dean calls the 'angel radio'," he whispers. "But why am I hearing this?" Your voice is trembling, tears blurring your vision. "I don't kno-" he growls, "The enochian words..." 

“Cas? What are you talking about?” You whisper to his chest. “Make these voices stop! My head bursts,” you cry out. “They are calling your name. Why am I hearing Sam and Dean?” You are confused and even more when you pop up in their motel room. 

“(Y/N)?” Dean stares at you. “How did you-” “Dean? Sam? I don´t know! Cas and I got in a fight, then Gabriel showed up and now I somehow can hear the ‘angel radio’ and heal Cas.” You grab their arms and pull them to the door. “We have to get to the bunker, now!”

You stumble against the huge map at the bunker. “Wha-?” 

“(Y/N)! You´re back. Where have you… been?” Castiel runs through the door and sees you standing there, Sam and Dean next to you. The brothers are too confused to say anything, so they just stare at you.

Again, you press your hands against your ears, crying. “Make it stop please,” you beg. Castiel pulls you into a hug, slowly caressing your back. “We'll figure out how to stop this, (Y/N). Try to calm down.” Sobbing, you lean into his hug. Then he lifts his head and yells growling.

“GABRIEL! SWING YOUR STUPID ASS BACK HERE. NOW!”

You hear the rustling sound of feathers and Cas turns both of you around, so you can look at Gabriel.

“Make this stop,” you beg him with tears in your eyes. “Please Gabriel, make it stop.”

He observes you, looking as confused as you are. “Make it stop? What do you mean?” He asks. Castiel lets go off you and pushes Gabriel against the walls, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt. 

“You did some spell and now MY powers are in (Y/N). Undo it!” “Wait. Your powers are in (Y/N)? This can´t be. Cas, you heard what I said in enochian.” Gabriels eyes wander from Cas to you. “I told you two to stop this nonsense and try to understand what the other feels!” 

“Wait… This sounds familiar.” Sam looks at Dean. “Didn´t something like this happen in this movie? That one with Lindsey Loh-” “Freaky Friday!” Dean claps and turns around to you. But you ignoring them.

“Hold on a second. You mean I am STUCK with Cas’ powers until we figure out how to undo it?” You ask and look desperate. “How am I supposed to go hunting with the boys?” You say angrily, waving your hand at them, sending them flying through the room. 

“Until you know how to use those powers? You don´t. They will go hunting or whatever, and I will help you to adjust to Castiel's powers, at least until we undo it. But I think it's safer for them to not… be around.” Gabriel says, laying his hands on your shoulders. 

Cas stands up again and straightens his clothes. Somehow his shirt got ripped and reveals his defined muscles. You stare at him and in your head you touch his body, trace his collarbone with your fingers, the line to his belly button and then down to..”Don´t you dare to finish this thought.” You hear the low voice of Gabriel behind you. You blush heavily. 

Sam and Dean grab some stuff and an hour later they and walk out of the bunker, dragging Cas with them and leaving you alone with Gabriel.


	2. Heaven?

Gabriel leads you to a chair at the two big tables and you sit down. Then he gets two glasses with whiskey, putting one of them down in front of you and sitting down too. 

"Can you really help me to control it? I mean, until we found a way to change this situation?" Gabriel nods, furrowing his brows and staring at you. 

"Look, somehow his grace was transferred into your body. His wings, his powers and maybe even all his angel memories are yours to work with. At least for a while now. The first thing you need to know is how to reduce the voices of the other angels. You can adjust your frequency to only receive the prayers from Dean, Sam. Cas and me."

You nod and sit upright in your chair. "How?"

Gabriel takes a sip of his drink. "You need to focus. Take a deep breath and focus on our voices. Shut out every other prayers or messages you get." Again you nod. You close your eyes and inhale deeply, trying to focus on their thoughts. The other voices are quiet, almost like a white noise in the background. Not completely gone, but your head feels better. As you listen to their thoughts, you startle. One of them is thinking about you. 

Your lips on his, his arms around you. Two naked bodies, sweaty and very close. His strong hands running up your thighs while kissing and softly biting your neck. A moaning and growling from both of you, while his- "Stop!" Gabriel's loud voice pulls you back to reality. 

"Please, stop thinking THAT so loud, would you?" Your face feels very hot and you blush heavily. "Wait… Yo-.. You hear my thoughts?" He nods, his facial expression somewhere between amused and disgusted. Your eyes widen. "All of my thoughts?" 

He shakes his head. "No, usually I am able to shut it out completely, just hearing when you call me. Sometimes your thoughts are really loud and explicit and very hard to silence that." He thinks for a moment. "But those weren't your thoughts. When you think about this stuff, it's always Castiel with you. This time, the male part didn't have a face. Hmm, I wonder who thought about you like this."

His eyes rest on your face. Your head feels better, the voices are quiet but not completely gone. You drift back to this scene you saw, trying to figure out who it was. You startle when you remember the naked body, seeing the enochian writing on the skin. 

"Cas…" Your voice is just a whisper, your cheeks blushing again. 

"What? Why would you think it was Castiel?" "Well, he's the only one of us who had an enochian angel warding tattoo while he was human. And I don't think the brothers would imagine us to do stuff like that." 

"Hmm, I wonder," he smirks and then he flys away. "Gabriel wait, what-" you start to say, but he doesn't hear you. 

You sigh and get up. Walking around, you think about the things you said to Cas. You feel bad about it, but you can't forgive him for letting your brother die, not yet. 

After some minutes, Gabriel comes back, smiling. "You and my brother are some adorable, oblivious little dorks," he says. "Now, let's get down to business. We need you to know how to control these powers, sweetie."

Some days later, you are able to control it. You shut down the angel radio, only receiving the prayer that your friends send you. You calm down, not letting your emotions control the powers but your mind. The boys came back two days ago. With them around, it almost feels like always. Even after talking to Castiel, him apologizing every time, you still can't forgive him. And still, your heart beats for him. You love him, more than your own life. But you can't tell him that. 

One day, they prepare for a hunt. It's not far away, so you stay back in the bunker to do some research on how to undo this power transfer. Gabriel also stays to help you. 

You are reading some of the books, the men of letters assembled when you hear it. The pleading voice of Sam praying to you. You look at Gabriel, he nods and you fly to Sam. 

Appearing there, you see the dead demons. Then you turn around, hearing Sam's voice. "Dean, hang on, (Y/N) is here, she can help." Stumbling in the direction of his sobs, you see Sam crouching over Dean's bloodied body, Cas next to him. Both are hurt very bad. Immediately you kneel down next to them, healing Dean. "It's okay, you are alright Dean," you say, then turning around to Cas. You lay down your hand on his heart, trying to let his grace heal him. But nothing happens. "What?... Why?" 

You vision blurries while you try to focus on healing him. His blue eyes flutter open, he lifts his hand to your cheek. 

"(Y/N)," he whispers smiling. "Don't speak, please. I'll heal you, you won't die. Don't you dare to die on me now." Your voice is crackling. Pushing your hands on the huge wound on his chest, trying to stop the bleeding, you whisper an enochian prayer. 

"Cas please, you mustn't die," you cry. "I am sorry (Y/N), I should have been more careful…" He coughs. 

"No, I am sorry Cas. I said awful things to you. I will just heal you, okay?" Your trembling voice breaks when his hand, which rested on your cheeks, weekly drops down. You look down at him, desperately trying to stop the bleeding. "No, no, no. I told you I will heal you. Don't you dare to die, are you listening? I won't lose you." You shake him, you tears falling down on his face. "Cas, please. I need you! You can't leave me, please. I love you!" Crying, you kiss his forehead, pulling his body into a hug. "Castiel, don't leave me too. I already lost my brother, I don't want to lose you too… I love you… please, come back… Forgive me please."

Again you try to heal him, but the grace doesn't seem to respond to your orders. The thoughts are spinning in your head. Somehow it's always your brother's face which pops up in your head, Cas standing next to him, not doing anything. You feel helpless, your arms wrapped around the dying body of your Castiel. 

"Please Cas, you can't leave me now… I have to tell you that I am sorry. For everything I said to you. I know that you wanted to help. I know…" your voice breaks, you feel Castiel's heart beating, you feel his breathing. You fear the moment when this stops. Then you see his angels blade next to him. Almost mechanical your hand reaches out and you take the blade. 

One hand on his heart, the other hand around the angels blade, you only have one thought in your head. You want Castiel to live. Your tears fall down on the blade as you lift it to your throat, knowing that you have to release his grace from your body. But he grabs your arm. “Don´t do this (Y/N), you would die…” his voice is trembling and weak and he closes his eyes. “But you will live Cas. I won´t let you die.” You press a kiss on his lips. “I love you so much,” you whisper, leaning your forehead against his. 

“I forgive you Castiel.” 

Suddenly a bright light emanates from your hand on his heart. You see his wounds closing, the blood disappearing. You feel his grace surrounding both of you, healing him completely, then slowly leaving your body. Weakend, you drop over and fall unconscious.

Castiel opens his eyes, confused looking around, while Sam and Dean are sitting there next to you both.

“(Y/N)? I was dead… How did you-” He stops as he sees you laying there. “(Y/N)?” 

_ “(Y/N), hello sister.” You turn around, hearing the voice of your brother. “Am I...dead?” He shakes his head. “Not yet.” You stare at him. “So I am dying. Where are we?”  _

_ “Actually this is your little part of heaven, cupcake.” You hear another familiar voice. “Gabriel?” He comes closer, standing next to your brother, smiling. _

_ “So, you wanna tell me that my personal heaven looks like the bunker?” Your brother laughs. “Well, this is the place you call home. Where you could be with your loved ones.” Gabriel nods. _

_ “But when I am not dead, why am I here?” You ask, staring at your brother and your best friend. “Because I brought your soul here, cupcake. You might have forgiven Castiel, but not yourself.”  _

_ “And that's why I am here, sister. You do not need to blame yourself for my death. It was my decision to go on that hunt with you. It was my mistake which got me injured. And it was me who decided that Cas mustn´t heal me. I practically didn't let his grace heal my wounds.”  _

_ Your mouth wide open you don´t understand what he's talking about. “But why?” “I was already dying. Remember that demon possession? It left something in me, something was burning inside me,” he says. “I begged Cas to let me die. No one could've stopped this, (Y/N).” _

_ You look at Gabriel, looking for any sign your brother might be lying to you. Shaking his head, he comes closer to you, laying a hand on your shoulder.  _

_ “It´s not your time yet, don't ruin my heaven already, sis. Go back, tell Cas how madly in love you are with him. Live your life as long as possible and kick some bad guys ass for me. And promise me something.” You nod. “Don't blame yourself for things you can't change. I love you, big sis,” he says and hugs you.  _

_ “It´s time to go back now,” Gabriels voice whispers in your ear.  _


	3. Home

Heavily gasping you open your eyes, looking at the ceiling of your room at the bunker. You cough and frantically look around. Sam, Dean and Castiel are there, standing next to Gabriel who is sitting in a chair next to your bed.

"Hey, calm down cupcake," Gabriel says and lays a hand on your shoulder. 

"Am I still in heaven? What happened?" Your voice is a bit higher pitched than usual. 

The others look at each other and then at you and Gabriel, their eyebrows raised. 

"In heaven? What do you mean (Y/N)?" Sam seems a bit worried. Gabriel gives him a quick glance and shakes his head. 

"We should let her sleep a bit. Come on guys, we go to the library, writing down what happened or something, and let her get some rest." 

You nod, too tired and weak to argue. The boys walk out of the room, Cas staying behind. "I'm okay Cas, don't worry," you smile at him and he leaves your room. 

You close your eyes, but struggle to fall asleep again, so you sneak to the library, listening to the voices of your friends. 

"What did she mean when she mentioned heaven, Gabriel?" Gabriel sighs and looks at Castiel. "When your grace left her body, she died. Healing Dean and you was very exhausting for her, since she's not an angel. I guided her soul to heaven, I couldn´t let any reaper come near her. Her brother was there and he forgave her. He told her that she shouldn't blame herself for his death, to forgive herself. Then, I just guided her soul back to her body. I couldn´t let her stay there, it wasn't her time yet."

“If she was dead, how did you do this, Gabriel? No one, not even an archangel could just put a soul back to revive someone. In order to do this you-” Gabriel nods. “Must share your grace with them. I did. Castiel, I love her like my sister, I just couldn´t let her die. And I know how much she means to you, to all of us.”

“Wait, Gabriel. You made an angel of her?” Sam asks and Castiel shakes his head. “No, this is a very complex process and even more complex to explain it. Easy said, Gabriel shared his grace with her. Depending on how much it was, she could have some abilities of angels, but she is still human. She lives, she needs to fulfill human needs and stuff.” 

Gabriel sighs. “I just gave her as much of my grace as she needed. And it is possible that it was a big amount of it so she might have some of my abilities. Most important is that she´s alive. Could we agree, that we don´t tell her?” He looks at Dean, Sam and Castiel and all of them nod in agreement.

"But why would she think she's still in heaven, she's at the bunker!" 

Gabriel smiles. "Her heaven looks like the bunker." "But why?" Dean looks confused. "I mean, why isn't it her old home, her parents?" 

"Because the bunker means safety and home, Dean," you say, stepping through the door. "My old home was just another house where my parents dragged me and my brother to. You guys are more family than my parents ever were. They left my brother and I alone, vanished but left a note for us. 'You are old enough to be alone. Don't look for us, we don't want you.' But you guys helped us, took care of us. You are our family, not by blood but by choice. I think this is what my brother tried to tell me. That we had the choice to stay with you, knowing every risk, or to leave. We choose to stay, because you are our friends, our family and I love you all for that.”

When you end your little speech, your voice gets shaky and you need to sit down. Cas comes closer to help you. 

“You should rest, (Y/N). My grace nearly killed you, I am so sorry for that.” You take a deep breath, nodding. “You´re right, Cas. I am tired. But you don´t have to be sorry for that. No one should be.” 

He nods, but you see in his eyes that he blames himself for putting you in this dangerous situation. You get up and yawn, your legs all wiggly. “I think I´ll go to bed, would you mind to walk me to my room Cas?” 

Behind him you see Gabriel, Dean and Sam smirk. You give them a glare and lean on Cas. He´s all gentleman, one hand supporting your back, the other holding your hand, your arm over his shoulder, opening the doors for you. 

Arriving in your room, you slump over to your bed, Cas following you, sitting down on the edge of your mattress.

“(Y/N), I really mean it. I am very sorry that all of it happened to you just because I promised your brother to-” “It´s okay Cas. he told me when I met him in.. heaven.” He gives you his usual sad puppy eyes. “He told me that I should forgive myself. That I should live my life, go hunting, to be with y-” you get cut off by his soft lips on yours. He kisses you, your eyes wide open, but pulls back immediately. “Sorry, I just... “ His voice trails off. “It´s okay Castiel. I liked that.” 

He smiles and kisses you again. Your vision blurrs a bit and your room seems to spin, so you grab Cas' shoulder to hold on. "What's wrong? Are you okay, honey bee?" Even though you are almost passing out, you chuckle. "Honey bee?" Cas blushes slightly and smiles. "Well, everyone has a nickname for you, so I thought…But if you do not like it, I'll stop." Smiling you shake your head. 

You shiver and reach out to your blanket that's hanging over your chair. "I need my blanket, could you-" Before you could finish your sentence, the blanket is thrown at you, but no one's there. You look at Cas. "I think we should head back to the library. I probably should know what I can do, now that I have some grace from Gabriel, right?" He nods, stands up and scoops you up to carry you to the library. You try to wiggle out of his arms, but you are enjoying it, so you let him carry you and giggle. 

"So, Gabriel, how do we know which of your abilities I have too? Could you just magically scan me to figure it out?" He sighs and shrugs, grabbing a knife from the shelf nearby. 

"I think there is just the old fashioned way to figure out what you can do now," he says and stabs the knife deep into Sam's hand. Sam groans in pain, but keeps calm. Cas steps forward but Gabriel holds him back. 

"(Y/N) try to heal him. You control those powers the same way you did with Castiels grace."

Nodding you reach out for Sam's hand, focusing on healing that wound. It closes a bit, not completely but it definitely stops bleeding and heals halfway up. 

"Sorry Sam," you say apologetically but he smiles at you and shakes his head. "I'm fine shorty, don't worry. It doesn't even hurt!" He laughs. 

"Okay, so you can heal someone to some degree. You can use telekinesis." 'If you also can hear our thoughts we probably will be screwed,' he adds in his mind and you clear your throat. "Oh, you are definitely screwed, Gabe! Come on, what skills do you also have?" 

He sighs and looks to the others. "I would suggest, you don't think too naughty around her some month now. This will be a long night if we try to test ALL of my skills.” And it is a long night. you test everything he tells you and at the end of the testing and explaining, you eventually figure out what you are able to do now. 

“Wow. So it´s healing, a bit at least, telekinesis, telepathy and empathy, biokinesis,” Gabriel looks apologetically to Sam who is silenced, “warping reality, a bit, you can teleport yourself and others, AND shapeshifting,” he points to your face, one of your eyes is golden, the other is blue. “So you just need to learn how to use all of this responsibly and correctly.” 

“Great! So, until I can control all of that, I am a ticking bomb?!” You growl and punch your fist into the table, which cracks and breaks apart. 

“Oh,” Gabriel looks at the table, then at you. “I never thought that some grace of an archangel would grant you that much abilities. But, hey, Cas and I will help you control it and Sam and Dean will help too, right? Well, we have to find Dean first. Do you remember where you sent him, cupcake?”

When you shake your head, he sighs and flys away to look for Dean, returning around an hour later to the library. 

The angels train you in using your powers. Mostly it´s Castiel and you because Gabriel still feels bad for causing you all this. 

After some months, you can control it perfectly. One evening after training, Cas sits on the armchair in your room while you are taking a shower. 

“(Y/N), I need to tell you something. I´m-” He stops, blushing heavily, as you step out of the bathroom, naked. 

“You what?” You ask while putting on your cozy pyjamas and crawling onto your bed. 

“I´m...I think I am in love...with you.” He breaths out and stares at you, waiting for you to say something. You smile and pat on your bed next to you. He takes off his shoes and the trench coat and comes to your bed, looking at you. “Uhm, just wait a moment, will you?” You nod and he leaves your room, heading to Dean´s room. After some minutes he comes back, causing you to chuckle. He´s wearing some sweatpants and a shirt he has borrowed from Dean.

“Will you please just join me here?” You ask, still giggling. “I am looking ridiculous, right?” He smiles and sits down next to you, throwing a blanket around your shoulders. You lean against him and he lays his arm around your shoulder. 

“Yes you do, but I like when you do human things. So, you love me. I like that too. And I love you.” His smile brightens up. “You do?” You nod and kiss him. It´s the same warm and nice feeling as months ago. You yawn and lean against him, snuggling close to his chest. “Castiel, I love you. And I know you love me, because I can sense it. And I know what you are thinking, and THAT is something we definitely should try.”

He smirks and pulls you close, kissing you again. 

“But first you need to rest, honey bee. We can do these things tomorrow.”

You nod and both of you lay down, closely cuddled against each other. His face resting in your neck, your back leaning against his chest. 

He kisses you and smiles. 

“Goodnight my angel,” he whispers. “Goodnight Cas. I love you.”


End file.
